Apple Lisa on eBay

There was an Apple Lisa listed on eBay in November, the text describing the item is great:

This artifact has been positively identified as an "Apple Lisa", dating from the Early Silicaceous period (First Century P.C.) and was unearthed during a basement cleaning at a local home that is more than 100 years old. I have no idea if the item was there before the house was built, but this thing is old. Apparently, it was used for some sort of non-verbal communication by a primitive society.

There is an emblem of a piece of fruit ("apple") on both the front and the back, indicating that this may have also been used as a planting calendar. The large "screen" surface on the front is actually "amorphous silica", a material very similar to the obsidian volcano stone that ancient cultures used for carving arrowheads, knives and other primitive tools. The slot on the front is almost exactly 3.5-inches wide. On the back there is a removable cover that reveals a rather unknowable assemblage of components, slots and precious metals.

There is a separate "keyboard" with a headphones-type RC jack that mates with a hole in the front. There is a separate "mouse" that plugs onto a port in the back; there are other ports in the back, as well. There is a black electrical cord that plugs into a common 110v grounded AC outlet.

When turned on, the box groans and the "screen" glows and comes to life with a cryptic message from the Gods: "START FROM?", with a cartouche that looks like the slot on the front. Apparently, some sort of item that was 3.5-inches wide was inserted into the slot as a sacrifice; without this sacrifice, the Gods won't allow the box to work properly. However, when the "mouse" is moved, a startling effect is observed: a separate cartouche on the screen moves in unison, as if by remote control.

The biscuits, or whatever, that are supposed to go into the slot were not found in the basement excavation site, and that may be why the box was abandoned.

The overall condition is good, but not great. There is no obvious physical damage, and it looks like some museum-strength Formula 409 would get this item ready for display in a glass box surrounded by incredulous txt msgrs.